DEAR GUSTY: It’s a Von Trapp!
Since the quarantine has offered up a lot more free time than we ever thought possible, we decided to resurrect one of our favourite columns from about a decade ago! “Dear Gusty” is an advice column on The House of Dandridge in the same vein as “Dear Abby” but with…balls!
Below is our very first entry! Have a question for Miss Gusty Winds? Email her at email@example.com
How DO you solve a problem like Maria?
Dear Sister Dolores Van-Cartier,
This first thing you should ask yourself is this: Is Maria really the problem?
Could the real problem be a bunch of gossiping busybodies laying judgment on a poor young girl who just loves life and needs to sing about it every waking moment?
Be thankful it’s only Maria you have to contend with.
You could have been saddled with baby killer “Agnes of God” or the sadistic “Magdalene Sisters”.
Remember you may not be able to “hold a moonbeam in your hand, but you can bathe in its luminosity.
PS. Remember she did make sister Margaretta laugh,
and she’s never late for any meal.