it’s been a few months since we last heard from the sage and we are so glad to have her back…and wiser than ever!

Dearest Gusty,

this is richard here…i have a problem for you to help me solve. i’ve been dating this guy pedro for a little over four months and we’ve been having the greatest time getting to know each other and having fun, making out like kids at local gay bars and causing a scene while doing so. (we are certainly far from kids…i’m 35 and he’s very close to 40). he wants me to accompany him at his family’s annual picnic for memorial day but my firends have a place out on fire island that will surely be an insanely fun weekend and the christening of summer shenanigans to come. he doesn’t want to come and miss spending time with his family and he really wants me to be there but i really don’t want to miss hanging with my friends either…i can’t be in two places at once although i wish i could. what do YOU think i should do?
Please help!

Dichotomy Dick

Dear Dick,

It’s all about compromise sugar tits. Most Memorial Day picnics do not last three days (can you imagine three days in a row with your family??) and most Picnics are on Monday. Relationships are all about compromise, why can’t you fag it up on Faggy Island and then go to the picnic, you didn’t mention where his la Casa del familia de Pedro is but I assume local. If not, I would not recommend a weekend away quite yet. More importantly why the fuck are you making out in gay bars causing a scene, and really what kind of scene can a 35 and 40 year old make, except one where they look foolish. A word of advice ,if you do go to the Island (incidentially I start my summer share there memorial day weekend, Stop by and don’t say hello) make sure the smell of booze and poppers is completely gone from your person and all drugs have been consumed or thrown away, Coke does not make Mama’s potato salad zestier!!!!

Gusty

to check out previous letters and reponses by her highness of help please check out her very own page on the house of dandridge here